I HATE SKINNY PEOPLE!

That's right. I hate em! All of em. Even my own skinny friends. I secretly hate you. So sue me! Personally I wish we lived in medieval times where my robust physique would not only be appreciated, but adored and my likeness would be sculpted out of marble and painted onto canvases and called a work of art!

That's really not even true. I would probably still feel fat. I remember not being fat and still thinking I was fat. Now I look at how "fat" I was back then and wish I could get back down to that "fat"!

FAT FAT FAT!!! The whole subject takes up a lot of my day. I am constantly conscious and aware of the fat. It's in my every waking thought. I'm thinking about it right this second. How do I look sitting in this position. Let me turn to the side more so I look less fat. Let me adjust my shirt so it doesn't sink into my fat roll and show all my biznis! It's all consuming!

I'm sure the skinny people (I hate you) are thinking...why doesn't she just lose weight! ESPECIALLY the skinny people with no children! Don't judge me!

There are (2) types of skinny moms.

You're either:

A.) The annoying type A personality with a heavy dose of OCD that lives to impress people with your perfect life that includes being a super wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, employee, pet owner, paritioner, gym rat, etc... But secretly...between you and me...I know you're exhausted and longing for a life of lower expectations! A life where you can occassionaly come home, sloth around on the couch for a couple of hours, make dinner for the kids a luncheable...and a yogurt (for good measure), put them to bed in their underwear without a bath, and tell your husband to grow up and microwave his dinner like a real man, all so you won't have to miss your favorite reality shows.

or...

B.) You are genetically blessed

Well people...I'm going to lunch now. That's right, I have no shame. I'm going to blog about the fat and ponder it over a nice Indian Buffet lunch.

I heard lap band was pretty easy. Plus my insurance covers it! hmmmm?

Anyhoo, until next time.

Remember...don't judge me!