Here's a letter I sent to our elusterous 3rd term idiot Governor.
I find it appalling that you attended such an elaborate celebration for your inauguration in the midst of our devestating budget crisis. This big soiret' just on the heels of our state's education being flushed down the toilet. I find it unforgivable. Why didn't you pass on the pomp and circumstance and have those corporate giants donate those badly needed funds to our state's education. An education which already, by all worldly standards is far from meeting the bar set by other poorer yet more forward thinking nations which consider education to be the foundation of their society's success and growth. Rightly so. Should this ridiculous budget proposal get passed you will go down in history as a governor who supported the dumbing of not only a state, but an entire nation. I'm sure It's very easy for someone like yourself to sit up in their posh overstaffed office and make decisions that personally seem inconsequential. After all it won't directly affect your Big Oil, and Corporate Giant supporters, your personal friends, and family...I'm sure most all of them have money to send their kids to private preschools--so really, who cares about a bunch of low income kids who's parent's don't vote anyway! They don't matter. But that's where you're so wrong...who knows what great potential and opportunities for future American leaders you are destroying because of your irresponsible proposed budget cuts. Have you considered that any one of those children who will be stripped of crucial educational opportunities, including the access to the best teachers, updated technology, any additional support to help them meet standards, a great start in preschool (which studies show is a basic foundational need in order to compete in our society's educational system today) could be a child that needed any one of these basic services to help propel them to greatness that would only serve to progress our Nation. Maybe one of those children, those missed opportunities was destined to be a leader, a great educator, or maybe even the next great Dr. or Scientist to discover a cure for one of our many chronic, or debilitating diseases such as cancer? Sadly we will never know what opportunities and potential these decisions you are supporting and leading are actually snuffing out. Based on the continued trend which will now only be propelled by these budget cuts, we will continue to fall even further behind as a world leader and US rankings will continue to plummet amongst the world's community of nations. And even though it's not so evident now, some day your decisions WILL affect you and yours directly, maybe not your children, but maybe your children's children will be living in a nation that can no longer sustain the title of "world leader" simply because there is not the highly educated masses to support it. And all because in 2011 the domino effect of complete disregard and disrespect for the value of education was set into motion by our veteran 3rd term governor Rick Perry. Shame on you Mr. Perry. Find another way, and win some integrity back. You can start by taking personal responsibility, reduce your own inflated office staff, take a pay cut or 2, do something to make me believe that you are not the indiscriminate, morally despicable, self serving, big money puppet that you are showing yourself to be. Make some tough calls for the greater good, not for the Perry good. I think based on this letter you know how I feel about the proposed budget cuts to our state's public education. Please reconsider! Don't let this be your legacy.
Clearly I feel strongly about the decisions that are hanging in the balance. Call your elected officials TODAY and use your leverage as a voter to influence decisions. It's important to our children's future.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Breaking up SUCKS!!!!!
So if you really know me...you know that I'm impulsive and stubborn and that you can't tell me what to do! I usually like to figure things out on my own and sometimes that means learning the hard way! In short...please save all of the "I told you so's"...it's understood.
So I did it...I broke up with Michael. I moved out of the house, and by "move out" I mean "fled" with whatever clothes I had on my back and 3 half dressed shoeless children! YAH. It got that bad. Nothing really physical, unless you call "spitting" physical abuse, which I think should count. All the crazy rage was directed at me, not the children. They were however terrified at the aggression that their father showed towards me. He actually tried to hold them hostage from me. He refused to let them leave with me and as kids were running to me out of fear he was scooping them up and holding them back. He was screaming like a crazed maniac.
Fortunately the children are fine now and have been somewhat insulated from this whole mess because we have had no further contact with their dad and because they have been distracted by my AWESOME brother and his very PATIENT almost saint like wife! We've been living with my brother and sister-n-law since the incident on Saturday in a 650 sq. ft. apartment. My Sibling has graciously given up his bedroom with the double bed where I sleep with the boys! Yes all 4 of us in the same bed. Picture the letter "E". That's how we've been sleeping. Fun? No! Tolerable? Yes! It's actually been much more peaceful all crammed up in this little apartment than in our "sprawling" 1800 sq. ft. bungalow in the idyllic neighborhood of "Bellaire"! I'll take a studio apartment with 6 people over a nice house with 1 Michael any day!
So I'm sure that some of you will doubt me, and I've given plenty of justification for that doubt. After all I've let him back in many times now. The difference this time is that he did not sheild his children from our relationship madness. He chose to drag them into our mess this time. He went off without regard for his kids emotional and mental well being. He put his need for revenge and his need to make a point ahead of the safety of his kids! THAT I will not tolerate. All of this time, after all of the shit he's pulled, the kids have for the most part been oblivious to any major incidents. I had a tiny shred of respect for him for at the very least making sure that his children weren't around when he went into one of his bi-polar rages. Many times he'd save it all up till after 8:30 p.m.--the kids bedtime, and then we'd unleash hell on each other...quietly on the other side of the house...sometimes the garage if we knew it was going to be a bad one.
It progressively got worse over the last 3 months and quickly escalated to intolerable within the last month. Now we're at this point. The point I always wondered whether would come. The point where I feel nothing for him. I feel no pity, no need to come to his rescue, no need to entertain his apologies and false promises. I feel nothing for this person. He's rendered me numb to his begging, his anger, his threats, his needs!
I DON'T CARE! I don't care that you're sad and miss the boys! I don't care that you don't have any money and are "starving". I don't care that you don't have a way to get around! I don't care that you're alone. I don't care that your family doesn't care enough about you to be supportive. I don't care if you try to do the right thing now!
I TOLD YOU! I told you I had limits! I told you you're pushing me to them! I told you I would leave and not come back! I told you that you should not take your family and comfortable life for granted! I told you to be more appreciative because someday we might be gone! But mostly I told you you'd regret your behavior. I was right.
I WILL NEVER! I will never have to depend on you again. I will never fully trust you again. I will never put your needs before the needs of my children again! I will never love you again. I will never sacrifice my happiness to keep peace with you again! I will never neglect my family and friends for you again! I will never miss another day of work because you again! I will never allow you to control me again!
I WILL! I will start getting back to the old me! I will start enjoying life! I will start spending quality time with my children! I will start taking time for myself! I will reconnect with family! I will reconnect with old friends! I will get back to the things I used to love to do! I will make my own decisions! I will surround my children with only good people! I will lose weight! I will take control of my finances! I will start going to church again! I will watch every movie I've missed over the last 5 years for you! I will be responsible for my life, my children, and myself!
So...I think that pretty much wraps it up in a nutshell! I'm not going back to him. Ever. If I've learned something, it's that you can change a persons habits, but you can't change a persons character!
Till I get inspired again!
Sayanora BITCHES!
(:
So I did it...I broke up with Michael. I moved out of the house, and by "move out" I mean "fled" with whatever clothes I had on my back and 3 half dressed shoeless children! YAH. It got that bad. Nothing really physical, unless you call "spitting" physical abuse, which I think should count. All the crazy rage was directed at me, not the children. They were however terrified at the aggression that their father showed towards me. He actually tried to hold them hostage from me. He refused to let them leave with me and as kids were running to me out of fear he was scooping them up and holding them back. He was screaming like a crazed maniac.
Fortunately the children are fine now and have been somewhat insulated from this whole mess because we have had no further contact with their dad and because they have been distracted by my AWESOME brother and his very PATIENT almost saint like wife! We've been living with my brother and sister-n-law since the incident on Saturday in a 650 sq. ft. apartment. My Sibling has graciously given up his bedroom with the double bed where I sleep with the boys! Yes all 4 of us in the same bed. Picture the letter "E". That's how we've been sleeping. Fun? No! Tolerable? Yes! It's actually been much more peaceful all crammed up in this little apartment than in our "sprawling" 1800 sq. ft. bungalow in the idyllic neighborhood of "Bellaire"! I'll take a studio apartment with 6 people over a nice house with 1 Michael any day!
So I'm sure that some of you will doubt me, and I've given plenty of justification for that doubt. After all I've let him back in many times now. The difference this time is that he did not sheild his children from our relationship madness. He chose to drag them into our mess this time. He went off without regard for his kids emotional and mental well being. He put his need for revenge and his need to make a point ahead of the safety of his kids! THAT I will not tolerate. All of this time, after all of the shit he's pulled, the kids have for the most part been oblivious to any major incidents. I had a tiny shred of respect for him for at the very least making sure that his children weren't around when he went into one of his bi-polar rages. Many times he'd save it all up till after 8:30 p.m.--the kids bedtime, and then we'd unleash hell on each other...quietly on the other side of the house...sometimes the garage if we knew it was going to be a bad one.
It progressively got worse over the last 3 months and quickly escalated to intolerable within the last month. Now we're at this point. The point I always wondered whether would come. The point where I feel nothing for him. I feel no pity, no need to come to his rescue, no need to entertain his apologies and false promises. I feel nothing for this person. He's rendered me numb to his begging, his anger, his threats, his needs!
I DON'T CARE! I don't care that you're sad and miss the boys! I don't care that you don't have any money and are "starving". I don't care that you don't have a way to get around! I don't care that you're alone. I don't care that your family doesn't care enough about you to be supportive. I don't care if you try to do the right thing now!
I TOLD YOU! I told you I had limits! I told you you're pushing me to them! I told you I would leave and not come back! I told you that you should not take your family and comfortable life for granted! I told you to be more appreciative because someday we might be gone! But mostly I told you you'd regret your behavior. I was right.
I WILL NEVER! I will never have to depend on you again. I will never fully trust you again. I will never put your needs before the needs of my children again! I will never love you again. I will never sacrifice my happiness to keep peace with you again! I will never neglect my family and friends for you again! I will never miss another day of work because you again! I will never allow you to control me again!
I WILL! I will start getting back to the old me! I will start enjoying life! I will start spending quality time with my children! I will start taking time for myself! I will reconnect with family! I will reconnect with old friends! I will get back to the things I used to love to do! I will make my own decisions! I will surround my children with only good people! I will lose weight! I will take control of my finances! I will start going to church again! I will watch every movie I've missed over the last 5 years for you! I will be responsible for my life, my children, and myself!
So...I think that pretty much wraps it up in a nutshell! I'm not going back to him. Ever. If I've learned something, it's that you can change a persons habits, but you can't change a persons character!
Till I get inspired again!
Sayanora BITCHES!
(:
Thursday, August 27, 2009
I miss my Mommy!!!!!!!!!!!
So instead of getting easier...I'm pretty sure it's getting harder to deal with my mom's passing. I truly miss and appreciate how much she loved me. Unfortunately it took her death for me to truly understand the depth of her love and unwavering commitment. It's really hard to deal with the realization that there is nobody left on this earth who can or will ever love me unconditionally and tolerate my BS and my craziness like my mother did. Mom would have done ANYTHING for me, and especially for her grandchildren.
Although I have a relatively tight knit extended family, none of them can replace the love of my mom. My mom would literally have given me her last dollar, the shirt off her back. She would have called me everyday...even if I never picked up the phone to call her or answer her calls. She never would have quit. She would have given her LIFE for me There's very few people in this world who you can say would lay down their life for you. My mom would've taken a bullet for me! It's not like I'm on a mafia hit list or anything, but still! It's just the principle.
That safety net is gone...I'm walking the high wire of life with no net! My mom was a great net. I really miss that subconscious deep sense of security...that inherent knowing that I would always have a place to go. Just like that...POOF...gone...the one person on Earth who could provide that kind of security. Today if things went really wrong, I could actually go hungry and or become homeless! That possibility actually exists. There isn't one person other than my mom that I could impose on (for any extended period of time) to house and feed me and my 3 children while I got back on my feet. I know that sounds extreme, but that's because it doesn't exist in your realm of possibilities or consciousness if your parents are alive.
Nobody else is beating down my door to spend time with me and my kids. This isn't a pity party people. Think about it. Who's the person always calling you, "bugging you", complaining that you don't call and visit enough? Your friends? NO! They've got their own lives! They're way too busy with their own crap. Your work associates! Hell NO! They get enough of you with the 8 hrs. 5 days a week. Your significant other? HELLLLL NO! They spend their time trying to get away! Or vise-versa. Maybe your kids when their little, but I see them getting more and more independent as the days go by! Your mother...that's it! The only person who cares about you enough to want to spend all her free time with you!
I took it for granted and was even annoyed at times with how much time she wanted to spend with me. It's not like I don't have a life!!!! Wow...was I stupid... I regret it now. REVELATION: I thought I didn't have any regrets, but obviously I do.
Wow...She would have been here as much as physically possible...my mom would have never said: "I'd love to come see you, but your I'm/we're really tired this weekend. I'd love to come and visit, but we're a little light on funds. I'd love to come and visit, but we've got so much to do. We really miss you, but we have a birthday party to go to this weekend." Your other family members are much less likely to inconvenience themselves when you aren't "fruit of their womb". For my mom, visiting her children and grandchildren would have been her biggest source of pleasure...her LIFE. We would have been IT for my mom. There would have been nothing and/or nobody that took precedence over me and my kids. I know this because I have my own kids now.
Really think about it...nobody else will ever love you and accept you the way your mother does. Everyone else's love is conditional. No matter what they say and how much they'd like to believe otherwise it's mentally, physically, and emotionally impossible to love anyone but your natural child that much. I know that my relatives feel obligated to step in, but it's just not in there genetic make-up to love me and to care for me the way my mom did. Don't get me wrong...they're AWESOME, they have good intentions and they do as much as can be expected from family members who aren't your parents. But sometimes they make me feel even worse. It might just be my situation and the fact that I'm kinda isolated from everyone but my dumb brother (who I love by the way) because of sheer distance or proximity from them. That just drives my point home even more--my mom would've come no matter what.
Sometimes I think I'd like to live in a cabin in the woods billions of miles from civilization with no phone, radio, tv, or even mail! Nothing! No link to the outside world. That way I wouldn't know when somebody had died, I'd never feel left out or like I was missing out, or even alone because you really only feel alone when other people choose not to spend time with you. I would be blissfully ignorant and unaware of the fact that nobody is missing me as much as my mom would be missing me.
Which takes me back to my family. I see many of them do the parent/grandparent thing with their kids. I see them travel long distances. I see them bend over backwards. I see them glowing and bragging over their kids and grandkids. I see them stressing over their lives and truly concerning themselves with their well being. I notice that they find a way regardless of circumstances to be around their kids and grand-kids as much as humanly possible. They make time, they spend money, they make it happen regardless, and they are exactly what my mom would've been...AMAZING.
For instance...I've lived here in Houston for 1 year 4 months now and my grandmother has been here 3 times and my aunt on my mom's side twice. My dad's family (other than my cousin, who visited last month) has never come to visit. My own sister who I know is CRAZY about my kids has been here a grand total of TWO times!
I know it's a (2) way street, but the car I have now is not conducive or really even safe to travel over 100 miles with 3 small children in tow. It's actually turned out to be really painful to realize what I'm missing and what my kids are missing out on. The BEST grandparents in the world!!!!!! Only my mom would drive her ass 4 hrs. or more to visit me and my kids every chance she had...with or without a leg, and with or without cancer! I know nothing would have stopped her! Wow...there's nobody else on the planet who loves us that much!!!! What a revelation! That's really sad.
Maybe I'm just REALLY PMS and feeling sorry for myself. I really am blessed in many ways and have no right to whine and complain. I take it all back. I retract all the previous pity blogging! I have a great life and a great family. Oh and more great friends than most people!
Now I'm feeling a little bipolar. Hmmm? Note to self: Adjust meds!
Remember...don't judge me.
Until next time I have a revelation or simple brain fart. Take care and appreciate your mom today!
Although I have a relatively tight knit extended family, none of them can replace the love of my mom. My mom would literally have given me her last dollar, the shirt off her back. She would have called me everyday...even if I never picked up the phone to call her or answer her calls. She never would have quit. She would have given her LIFE for me There's very few people in this world who you can say would lay down their life for you. My mom would've taken a bullet for me! It's not like I'm on a mafia hit list or anything, but still! It's just the principle.
That safety net is gone...I'm walking the high wire of life with no net! My mom was a great net. I really miss that subconscious deep sense of security...that inherent knowing that I would always have a place to go. Just like that...POOF...gone...the one person on Earth who could provide that kind of security. Today if things went really wrong, I could actually go hungry and or become homeless! That possibility actually exists. There isn't one person other than my mom that I could impose on (for any extended period of time) to house and feed me and my 3 children while I got back on my feet. I know that sounds extreme, but that's because it doesn't exist in your realm of possibilities or consciousness if your parents are alive.
Nobody else is beating down my door to spend time with me and my kids. This isn't a pity party people. Think about it. Who's the person always calling you, "bugging you", complaining that you don't call and visit enough? Your friends? NO! They've got their own lives! They're way too busy with their own crap. Your work associates! Hell NO! They get enough of you with the 8 hrs. 5 days a week. Your significant other? HELLLLL NO! They spend their time trying to get away! Or vise-versa. Maybe your kids when their little, but I see them getting more and more independent as the days go by! Your mother...that's it! The only person who cares about you enough to want to spend all her free time with you!
I took it for granted and was even annoyed at times with how much time she wanted to spend with me. It's not like I don't have a life!!!! Wow...was I stupid... I regret it now. REVELATION: I thought I didn't have any regrets, but obviously I do.
Wow...She would have been here as much as physically possible...my mom would have never said: "I'd love to come see you, but your I'm/we're really tired this weekend. I'd love to come and visit, but we're a little light on funds. I'd love to come and visit, but we've got so much to do. We really miss you, but we have a birthday party to go to this weekend." Your other family members are much less likely to inconvenience themselves when you aren't "fruit of their womb". For my mom, visiting her children and grandchildren would have been her biggest source of pleasure...her LIFE. We would have been IT for my mom. There would have been nothing and/or nobody that took precedence over me and my kids. I know this because I have my own kids now.
Really think about it...nobody else will ever love you and accept you the way your mother does. Everyone else's love is conditional. No matter what they say and how much they'd like to believe otherwise it's mentally, physically, and emotionally impossible to love anyone but your natural child that much. I know that my relatives feel obligated to step in, but it's just not in there genetic make-up to love me and to care for me the way my mom did. Don't get me wrong...they're AWESOME, they have good intentions and they do as much as can be expected from family members who aren't your parents. But sometimes they make me feel even worse. It might just be my situation and the fact that I'm kinda isolated from everyone but my dumb brother (who I love by the way) because of sheer distance or proximity from them. That just drives my point home even more--my mom would've come no matter what.
Sometimes I think I'd like to live in a cabin in the woods billions of miles from civilization with no phone, radio, tv, or even mail! Nothing! No link to the outside world. That way I wouldn't know when somebody had died, I'd never feel left out or like I was missing out, or even alone because you really only feel alone when other people choose not to spend time with you. I would be blissfully ignorant and unaware of the fact that nobody is missing me as much as my mom would be missing me.
Which takes me back to my family. I see many of them do the parent/grandparent thing with their kids. I see them travel long distances. I see them bend over backwards. I see them glowing and bragging over their kids and grandkids. I see them stressing over their lives and truly concerning themselves with their well being. I notice that they find a way regardless of circumstances to be around their kids and grand-kids as much as humanly possible. They make time, they spend money, they make it happen regardless, and they are exactly what my mom would've been...AMAZING.
For instance...I've lived here in Houston for 1 year 4 months now and my grandmother has been here 3 times and my aunt on my mom's side twice. My dad's family (other than my cousin, who visited last month) has never come to visit. My own sister who I know is CRAZY about my kids has been here a grand total of TWO times!
I know it's a (2) way street, but the car I have now is not conducive or really even safe to travel over 100 miles with 3 small children in tow. It's actually turned out to be really painful to realize what I'm missing and what my kids are missing out on. The BEST grandparents in the world!!!!!! Only my mom would drive her ass 4 hrs. or more to visit me and my kids every chance she had...with or without a leg, and with or without cancer! I know nothing would have stopped her! Wow...there's nobody else on the planet who loves us that much!!!! What a revelation! That's really sad.
Maybe I'm just REALLY PMS and feeling sorry for myself. I really am blessed in many ways and have no right to whine and complain. I take it all back. I retract all the previous pity blogging! I have a great life and a great family. Oh and more great friends than most people!
Now I'm feeling a little bipolar. Hmmm? Note to self: Adjust meds!
Remember...don't judge me.
Until next time I have a revelation or simple brain fart. Take care and appreciate your mom today!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
I HATE SKINNY PEOPLE!
That's right. I hate em! All of em. Even my own skinny friends. I secretly hate you. So sue me! Personally I wish we lived in medieval times where my robust physique would not only be appreciated, but adored and my likeness would be sculpted out of marble and painted onto canvases and called a work of art!
That's really not even true. I would probably still feel fat. I remember not being fat and still thinking I was fat. Now I look at how "fat" I was back then and wish I could get back down to that "fat"!
FAT FAT FAT!!! The whole subject takes up a lot of my day. I am constantly conscious and aware of the fat. It's in my every waking thought. I'm thinking about it right this second. How do I look sitting in this position. Let me turn to the side more so I look less fat. Let me adjust my shirt so it doesn't sink into my fat roll and show all my biznis! It's all consuming!
I'm sure the skinny people (I hate you) are thinking...why doesn't she just lose weight! ESPECIALLY the skinny people with no children! Don't judge me!
There are (2) types of skinny moms.
You're either:
A.) The annoying type A personality with a heavy dose of OCD that lives to impress people with your perfect life that includes being a super wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, employee, pet owner, paritioner, gym rat, etc... But secretly...between you and me...I know you're exhausted and longing for a life of lower expectations! A life where you can occassionaly come home, sloth around on the couch for a couple of hours, make dinner for the kids a luncheable...and a yogurt (for good measure), put them to bed in their underwear without a bath, and tell your husband to grow up and microwave his dinner like a real man, all so you won't have to miss your favorite reality shows.
or...
B.) You are genetically blessed
Well people...I'm going to lunch now. That's right, I have no shame. I'm going to blog about the fat and ponder it over a nice Indian Buffet lunch.
I heard lap band was pretty easy. Plus my insurance covers it! hmmmm?
Anyhoo, until next time.
Remember...don't judge me!
That's really not even true. I would probably still feel fat. I remember not being fat and still thinking I was fat. Now I look at how "fat" I was back then and wish I could get back down to that "fat"!
FAT FAT FAT!!! The whole subject takes up a lot of my day. I am constantly conscious and aware of the fat. It's in my every waking thought. I'm thinking about it right this second. How do I look sitting in this position. Let me turn to the side more so I look less fat. Let me adjust my shirt so it doesn't sink into my fat roll and show all my biznis! It's all consuming!
I'm sure the skinny people (I hate you) are thinking...why doesn't she just lose weight! ESPECIALLY the skinny people with no children! Don't judge me!
There are (2) types of skinny moms.
You're either:
A.) The annoying type A personality with a heavy dose of OCD that lives to impress people with your perfect life that includes being a super wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, employee, pet owner, paritioner, gym rat, etc... But secretly...between you and me...I know you're exhausted and longing for a life of lower expectations! A life where you can occassionaly come home, sloth around on the couch for a couple of hours, make dinner for the kids a luncheable...and a yogurt (for good measure), put them to bed in their underwear without a bath, and tell your husband to grow up and microwave his dinner like a real man, all so you won't have to miss your favorite reality shows.
or...
B.) You are genetically blessed
Well people...I'm going to lunch now. That's right, I have no shame. I'm going to blog about the fat and ponder it over a nice Indian Buffet lunch.
I heard lap band was pretty easy. Plus my insurance covers it! hmmmm?
Anyhoo, until next time.
Remember...don't judge me!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Tie Him Up Mommy!
Ok...so keep in mind the "moral disclaimer" from my post yesterday so that you understand the context and dynamic I'm dealing with here.
So a few weeks ago I put the 3 little monkeys to bed at around 8:15. Jake "the baby" or "al qaeda" as gramps likes to refer to him, in his crib, and Luke and Max in the bunk beds. Within about 2 seconds I hear some ruckus so I go and check on em', and of course Jakey has climbed out of his crib and scaled the bunk beds and is standing on top of Max triumphantly yelling "HaHAAAAA!!!". Max is screaming in his normal dramatic fashion and flopping around rithing in "pain"!
Like the patient compassionate sweet natured mother that I am I tell Max to "can it...you're fine" and then I gently yet firmly escort the compliant yet totally obtuse little miscreant to his crib.
Fast forward 2 minutes, and my little "al qaeda" has started a full blown sibbling jihad!
This battle goes on for about an hour and 15 minutes. Every time I put him in his crib he lets me walk out...he waits about 30 seconds and then proceeds with his relentless assaults on his brothers. At this point Max and Luke are so tired that they pass out within the 2 minutes it takes me to get Jakey back in his crib, scold him, and get him "settled".
Jake is an evil genius...he gives them just enough time to let down their guard and fall into a deep REM sleep before he moves in for his next attack. It's so much more dramatic to wake them from a dead sleep...way more bang for his buck. If I had to guess, I'd say I went in there about 30-40 times and this went on for about an hour and 15. At which point his paranoid brothers are so scared to sleep or even blink their eyes that they are sitting up in the very back corner of their beds with their backs to the wall just watching him. Mumbling stuff under their breath like little schizos!
I must say I really feel that I got a taste of what true insanity feels like. Needless to say I was on the verge of a major meltdown. I considered the "baby moses" out, and taking him to the firestation next door, but they know him too well and after about 30 minutes they'd just bring him back!
R-E-L-E-N-T-L-E-S-S. I don't think anyone understands...Jakey could have done this all night. Easily. The thought of that made me crazy! Desperate times call for desperate measures, so I did something I never thought I'd do!
I tied him up.
That's right... I said it! I tied him up!
Don't pick up the phone and start dialing 911 or CPS. Remember what I said in the first post "Don't Judge Me!" Walk a mile in these shoes people! Besides, it was extremely humane and well thought out. Here's how it went down--I tore a strip from an old sheet, I tied one side to the mattress frame, the other in a very loose bow around his ankle, left enough slack for him to to roll over and move comfortably but not enough to get his leg over the top rail, and that was that! He conceded and complied.
I thought everything was well and good. UNTIL, 5 minutes later when I hear more ruckus! I go back in there, unable to imagine what in the HELL could possibly be the problem NOW, and what I find is a mutiny! The other 2 had turned on me! Jake was sitting in his crib, bottle hanging from his mouth, with his leg sticking out of the crib. No longer the perp, but the "victim". He's giving directions to his brothers who are standing around his leg trying to FREE HIM! The same little whiners I was trying to protect are now scolding me--saying "no tie Jakey up mommy!", "we love Jakey!".
What do you mean "we love Jakey"...I say that to you! They're using my own words against me!
Now I feel totally guilty!!!! They're all looking at me like I'm mommy dearest, scolding me, hurridly trying to untie their poor innocent little brother! Ohh, how quickly they forget.
Sooo, what could I do? I had to untie him. I gave Jakers a stern lecture. Told him about the major time-out he'd get, and all of the things I would take away from him if he escaped again, to which he responded "Great!". I appologized to Max and Luke for mommy's irrational desperate behavior and I walked out.
Fast forward 2 minutes...It's like freaking ground hog day up in this joint! Shocking...It started all over again!!!! Only this time Max and Luke are yelling "TIE HIM UP!!!!!" "MOMMY...HE GOT OUT!!! TIE HIM UP!!!!".
The worst part of all of this is that now anytime were in public and Jakey starts acting up, one of them is sure to yell loudly and clearly "Mommy Jakey's being a bad boy...TIE HIM UP!" True story!
So a few weeks ago I put the 3 little monkeys to bed at around 8:15. Jake "the baby" or "al qaeda" as gramps likes to refer to him, in his crib, and Luke and Max in the bunk beds. Within about 2 seconds I hear some ruckus so I go and check on em', and of course Jakey has climbed out of his crib and scaled the bunk beds and is standing on top of Max triumphantly yelling "HaHAAAAA!!!". Max is screaming in his normal dramatic fashion and flopping around rithing in "pain"!
Like the patient compassionate sweet natured mother that I am I tell Max to "can it...you're fine" and then I gently yet firmly escort the compliant yet totally obtuse little miscreant to his crib.
Fast forward 2 minutes, and my little "al qaeda" has started a full blown sibbling jihad!
This battle goes on for about an hour and 15 minutes. Every time I put him in his crib he lets me walk out...he waits about 30 seconds and then proceeds with his relentless assaults on his brothers. At this point Max and Luke are so tired that they pass out within the 2 minutes it takes me to get Jakey back in his crib, scold him, and get him "settled".
Jake is an evil genius...he gives them just enough time to let down their guard and fall into a deep REM sleep before he moves in for his next attack. It's so much more dramatic to wake them from a dead sleep...way more bang for his buck. If I had to guess, I'd say I went in there about 30-40 times and this went on for about an hour and 15. At which point his paranoid brothers are so scared to sleep or even blink their eyes that they are sitting up in the very back corner of their beds with their backs to the wall just watching him. Mumbling stuff under their breath like little schizos!
I must say I really feel that I got a taste of what true insanity feels like. Needless to say I was on the verge of a major meltdown. I considered the "baby moses" out, and taking him to the firestation next door, but they know him too well and after about 30 minutes they'd just bring him back!
R-E-L-E-N-T-L-E-S-S. I don't think anyone understands...Jakey could have done this all night. Easily. The thought of that made me crazy! Desperate times call for desperate measures, so I did something I never thought I'd do!
I tied him up.
That's right... I said it! I tied him up!
Don't pick up the phone and start dialing 911 or CPS. Remember what I said in the first post "Don't Judge Me!" Walk a mile in these shoes people! Besides, it was extremely humane and well thought out. Here's how it went down--I tore a strip from an old sheet, I tied one side to the mattress frame, the other in a very loose bow around his ankle, left enough slack for him to to roll over and move comfortably but not enough to get his leg over the top rail, and that was that! He conceded and complied.
I thought everything was well and good. UNTIL, 5 minutes later when I hear more ruckus! I go back in there, unable to imagine what in the HELL could possibly be the problem NOW, and what I find is a mutiny! The other 2 had turned on me! Jake was sitting in his crib, bottle hanging from his mouth, with his leg sticking out of the crib. No longer the perp, but the "victim". He's giving directions to his brothers who are standing around his leg trying to FREE HIM! The same little whiners I was trying to protect are now scolding me--saying "no tie Jakey up mommy!", "we love Jakey!".
What do you mean "we love Jakey"...I say that to you! They're using my own words against me!
Now I feel totally guilty!!!! They're all looking at me like I'm mommy dearest, scolding me, hurridly trying to untie their poor innocent little brother! Ohh, how quickly they forget.
Sooo, what could I do? I had to untie him. I gave Jakers a stern lecture. Told him about the major time-out he'd get, and all of the things I would take away from him if he escaped again, to which he responded "Great!". I appologized to Max and Luke for mommy's irrational desperate behavior and I walked out.
Fast forward 2 minutes...It's like freaking ground hog day up in this joint! Shocking...It started all over again!!!! Only this time Max and Luke are yelling "TIE HIM UP!!!!!" "MOMMY...HE GOT OUT!!! TIE HIM UP!!!!".
The worst part of all of this is that now anytime were in public and Jakey starts acting up, one of them is sure to yell loudly and clearly "Mommy Jakey's being a bad boy...TIE HIM UP!" True story!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Don't Judge Me!
Ok, so since this is my first posting let me give you some insight into my world. Just a quick explanation of why I do some of the things that I do, or that normal folks might consider certifiably NUTS...ok, ok, let's just be totally honest...this is supposed to be an outlet for me...a place where I can let it all hang out! Therapy if you will! I wouldn't lie to my shrink...actually, if I had one, I probably would. Stay on task Patty (you'll find me talking to myself occassionally in these posts) That's all besides the point I feel the need to post a moral disclaimer for my insanity! I haven't had the chance to run it by my attorney (who coincidentally is my brother and whom I pray NEVER actually reads any of this!) but here it goes.
I am a 38 year old orphan, career woman, sole breadwinner in the family, and mother of 3 boys. Here's the kicker...my boys are ages 4,3,&2! (Yes, yes, yes...I KNOW...I've heard em' all-"Get cable for God's sake!", "You do know how this happens, no?", "You couldn't wait the whole 6 weeks!", and there's the classic "HOLY $%#@!") Did I mention that I am totally ADD! One more thing...I'm in a relationship with my "Baby Daddy" strictly for convenience, and I secretly loathe him...oh, and of course, I stay for the kids!
Needless to say I'll be writing about the insanity that is my life. It's all fair game--my career, my kids, my unconventional "relationship", my ADD, and whatever else may come up during one of my typical ape %$#@ days. Assuming I remember, I will try to post at least every week, but if inspired...who knows! I really hope someone out there can relate to at least some of my psychosis. How sad if everyone is like...wow you are so f'd up! I'm going to think positively and assume everyone is this f'd up! (:
I am a 38 year old orphan, career woman, sole breadwinner in the family, and mother of 3 boys. Here's the kicker...my boys are ages 4,3,&2! (Yes, yes, yes...I KNOW...I've heard em' all-"Get cable for God's sake!", "You do know how this happens, no?", "You couldn't wait the whole 6 weeks!", and there's the classic "HOLY $%#@!") Did I mention that I am totally ADD! One more thing...I'm in a relationship with my "Baby Daddy" strictly for convenience, and I secretly loathe him...oh, and of course, I stay for the kids!
Needless to say I'll be writing about the insanity that is my life. It's all fair game--my career, my kids, my unconventional "relationship", my ADD, and whatever else may come up during one of my typical ape %$#@ days. Assuming I remember, I will try to post at least every week, but if inspired...who knows! I really hope someone out there can relate to at least some of my psychosis. How sad if everyone is like...wow you are so f'd up! I'm going to think positively and assume everyone is this f'd up! (:
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